Chapter 25: Bones, Galaxies, You, and Me

I’m 25, ya’ll! And that seems crazy to me.

I was planning to list some realizations at 25 but I figured Thought Catalog already has a ton of those.

I feel like this blog needs a life update. I haven’t written anything for future self in a while, choosing to keep some of the best and worst moments of my life offline.

But I want to write about yesterday – how I woke up at 3am to birthday cuddles.

Jan (aka the love of my life and kindest soul ever) got all the food I was craving for, which is mostly 7/11 microwaveable junk because I haven’t had those in months in my goal to eat healthier. But I figured ‘hey, it’s your birthday. Indulge a little.’ So I did.

I caught Jan with his little surprise: a donut with a lit candle in the middle. He’s face was the cutest as he was panicking to light the candle.

He said “Sorry, it’s just a donut.” But waking up to all of that already made me feel like a winner in life.

He always manages to make me feel like this, that guy.

(Friends, just find someone that makes you feel like the luckiest ever for having them by your side. It makes life is so much better.)

You see, the passing of time has been making me anxious for the past few months. Anxious enough to have panic attacks and bouts of insomnia. The pressure to make something of myself keeps me up at night.

And yet, my 25th birthday came yesterday with the purest bliss.

At around noon, Jan and I decided to spend the day at The Planetarium because I’ve always wanted to watch a show but I keep missing it.

Backstory: we had a field trip at The Planetarium when I was a kid. I remember looking up and seeing the milky way and thinking ‘wow’… and then, falling fast asleep! I woke up exactly as the show ended. I missed the whole show.

So when I moved to Taguig about 3 years ago, I returned to The Planetarium a couple of times. It’s not as easy to get to, even from Taguig, so I keep missing the cutoff.

Also, because the equipment has been upgraded the past years, and with the opening of the new Natural History building, the place has been extremely hyped and therefore, overcrowded, making the cutoff harder to catch (sometimes, as early as 12 noon).

But I felt good about yesterday. The hype had died down and we left home early.

Sure enough, there was no line to The Planetarium. There were less than 20 people inside when we got there. We paid P50 each for the 2pm show and wow… you know the feeling of coming full circle? It felt like that.

Learning about the universe, looking up a glorious –although projected– night sky reminded me of how small and lonely we seem to be in the galaxy.

Yet we have life. We are made of the same particles that make up stars and we are connected to that of the sun and of the night sky.

That’s pretty poetic and majestic to me.

So lonely, yet so beautiful.

You know the quote “If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.” from Calvin and Hobbes?

That rang true for me.

Amidst the trivialities of everyday, I often forget how grand life and the universe is. How life is still good and how privileged I am to be alive and in good health.

Looking up the night sky always makes me feel like that. I really should do that more often.

And I’m even luckier to have a love by my side seeing the same *projected* night sky that I see.

We were so into it that we also watched the 3.30pm show. 2 out 3, baby!

Plus, as a sidetrip, we went to the National Museum of Natural History building and wow, they really did well on that one. Kudos to the architects and curators.

The place is extremely interactive and the replica of the dinosaur bones, plus the forest and cave rooms are so fascinating. Not to mention, the magnificent interior of the building itself.

And that’s it. We had ice cream and cotton candy and squidballs and siomai rice for snacks and lunch.

Oh! And a crazy person kept following us when we were about to go home!

He was holding on to Jan asking him for cotton candy. He kept saying “pengeng bulak” and it was the craziest shit.

And man, Jan is so stubborn, he wouldn’t just give the crazy guy what he wanted so the guy would leave us alone. He really stood his ground there.

I’m proud of him but I’m also worried about that trait of his. I should look out for him as much as I could.

Anyway, the crazy guy let us off after I asked Jan to just give the guy the free pamaypay we got from The Planetarium (against Jan’s wishes haha. Nobody could bully him into doing anything it seems – except maybe for me. ♡)

It was an extremely fun and meaningful 25th birthday.

I’m less anxious now (who knows how long that would last though) and hopeful for the future.

As long as I have more years ahead of me, loving people around me, a steady love by my side, and experiences like these, I will strive to always be grateful.

Thank you, Universe, for making me experience this much joy. I hope to never forget this.

Love always,

N


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